I wouldn't have believed you if you told me..

Well as always it seems to have been a while since my last posts.. As I get older time seems to move at an increasingly fast rate. This time last year we were enjoying our little Aria as the one and only love in our life and now we have two. Kaymen joined our family just a few short weeks ago and is adding to the chaos that I now call life.

I will be 100% honest if you would have told me 3 years ago that I would be back in Utah with two kids by the age of 27 I would have laughed at you and most likely called you a few names. Being a mom.. Kids before I was 30 that was not on my life plan. And here I am 27 with two babies under the age of 2 living in Utah, owning 2 homes and thinking to myself hmmm this is not what I imagined. As crazy as it all seems to be I am perfectly content in my life here. I am looking forward to the days of no more diapers, enough $$ to move our little family back to the NYC and many other luxuries that are no longer afforded when having two small children.

Love the life you live, or live the life you love either way you look at it I am happy where I am today and looking forward to the adventures to come.

Remembering my NYC life..

It's so funny how quickly you're life can change. I am sitting on my couch reading a blog from my old roomie the writer and thinking of how amazing my life was 5 years ago.

Fresh faced in NYC is where my journey began. Bar nights, a gay roommate, and the whole world at my toes. I won't pretend like I don't miss that. Going out until the sun came up, not quite sure how I got home safe and in one piece. Trannies telling me I am pretty for a girl. Jello shots spit on my face. Lesbians hitting on me on St. Patrics day, diner's in Chelsea, Panda Tuesdays, apartment break in's in Brooklyn, Bradley directing cab drivers how to get me home via my cell when I couldn't remember where I was or where I lived. Panda madness nights with beer, pizza and fake mustaches.. Eating spaghettio's out of a can by candle light because we were too broke and had no power. Having an amazing roommate and best friend. I will never forget the millions of good times we had. Regardless of the bad times (bedbugs, living in the ghetto, and a fight that lasted months until my mom made us make up)

NYC and 23 year old Lacee you will never be forgotten. No matter how much you've grown up since them. I will always remember my NYC life.

We wish you a Merry Christmas!

I can't believe that Christmas has already come, and is in the process of going this year. Like most of us who work in retail I unlike many of you who are looking forward to the holiday cheer are counting the days until it is over. However this year I had something extremely exciting to celebrate, Aria's first Christmas. I know she's still a little too young to appreciate the excitement of the holiday but I think I had enough excitement for the both of us! 

Here are some wonderful Family photos....

Aria eating her wrapping paper on Daddy's lap... she didn't care much for the gifts. 

 Then She decided that she wanted to eat her other pretend phone (she eats pretty much everything.)

What Mom? I was just planning on eating my Hello Kitty. 

More Yummy paper!

Hello Kitty Extravaganza.

The icing on top of the cake! My  pretty blue diamond earrings love you babe.

A very Merry Christmas from Aria, Bradley and Lacee.  

2 Months in Review

It's been a while since my last post so I will just give you the main points:

• My darling daughter thinks that she's 20 years old. She's 3 months ahead of babies her age in behavior, completely alert, she's been standing on her own for several weeks now, she talks and goos at me like crazy, she even stomps her little foot when she's upset. I adore her. And everyone else does too.
• I went back to work, was supposed to get moved to a bigger store because yes I am that awesome but cough cough someone objected to the move.... so it's been postponed until early next year.
• My BFF Tamiqua Fenderson is getting married in less than a month! I have been getting ready and planning our trip to NYC.. I honestly can't wait for Gelato, Tacos, our Mexican Place, Central Park, SOHO, Little Italy, the 57th Street crew, UES, and many many more good things to come... Not to mention the wedding! (Can't wait to move back there someday!)
• I joined a fantasy football league... ok not just one but TWO.. Impressive I know. Trying to get more into the sport that the love of my life is so addicted to. I did well my first week with my survivor league pick but I did lose my first actual fantasy game.. Let's see how this week plays out.
• We put our condo up for sale. Bradley and I are ready to get a home together and are hoping to be in it before Christmas so Aria can have a room of her own.

That's pretty much all the exciting stuff that's going on right now! I promise I will attempt to be more diligent with my blogging over the next few months. And of course post some more pictures of our little princess!

July 3, 2011

As most of you know Bradley and I welcomed Aria Ly Cine into the world on July 3, 2011. She was born at 2:13am weighing 6lb and 13oz and was 19 inches long. We were excited to have her after enduring a long 29 hours of labor.

We went into the hospital Friday July 1st at 9:00pm, bags were packed and parents in tow. I started with the little pills that dissolve in your mouth, then the fun stuff came. They put this balloon in my uterus to help me dilate. After that we waited, and waited, and waited. I was dilated at a 5 for about 12 hours. They were trying to decide if we should just go in with a c-section and gave it one last chance. at 10pm they came in to check on me again and I finally had movement I went from a 5 to a 7 in just a hour and a half. At around 1am the doctor and nurse said I was good to go and it was time to push. Within a hour I pushed out our little Aria and nearly knocked out exhausted.

Every minute of it was worth it. We have this beautiful little girl to show for all of the hard work. It's been a week exactly today and even though you know your life is going to change you will never really understand how it does until your child is here. She is amazing, and smart, and talented already. In one week she's held a 2oz bottle by herself, lifted her head it is amazing how strong her neck is I've never seen a newborn do the things she does, and I am pretty sure within a month she'll be able to roll over on her stomach she's already half way there.

Here are a few of my favorite pictures thus far:

Knocked out after a visit to Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Just hanging out.

Playing with Mommy

Proud Daddy

She's almost here!!!

It's almost time our little Aria is almost here! Bradley and I are pretty much counting down the days until she arrives. We are so excited to have her but we (and by we I mean I) love to document every moment with pictures!

Last week Bradley and I went to get our photos taken by an amazing photographer if you're going to the arts festival this weekend look for her Cat Palmer, or check out her website at www.catpalmer.com. These are a few of my favorites.

Holding my belly I love the angle of this shot.

I think this is such a sweet picture!

Kissing my forehead is his trademark and I love it!

This is my absolute favorite. So lucky he'll do this stuff with me :)

Daddy giving the belly some love

Feet! Bradley has such pretty feet for a boy. I love this shot.

I am so excited for our little princess to get here. Bradley and I are both waiting in anticipation for her to arrive and can't wait for our family to grow. I will let you all know when she arrives and of course there will be tons of pictures in tow!

1 more day

First and formost I would like to say happy birthday to Bradley Ciné. You are the love of my life and I am so grateful that 25 years ago today you came into this world. My life would not be the same without you, nor could I imagine spending it with anyone else.

That being said, I get to see you tomorrow and I can't wait. Spending 3 months away from the person you love, while pregnant is pretty much one of the worst things ever. But I know that seeing him tomorrow night will be amazing.

Looking forward to tomorrow and every day after.

Happy Birthday Bradley, I love you.

Just thought you should know...

Bradley Cine is here in 13 days!!!!

I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!

This message is brought to you by a lonely pregnant woman lol.

Our pretty little girl, 30 Weeks

I went and got an ultrasound this week which is something that normally ends after the 20 week mark. I had to make sure that our little Aria is healthy and growing as planned since we've been having a hard time getting my medical records from my previous doctor. I nearly cried when I saw her. For one reason yes because she is beautiful, second reason because Bradley wasn't there to witness the beauty of her in motion, and lastly because she looks absolutely nothing like me! Looks like her fathers genes won out after all :)

In this one you can see her nose and her lips. These features look so much like her Dad it's crazy!

In this one you can see her whole face you have to kind of look at an angle but it's there. And she's beautiful. I can't wait to have her in my arms so I can see how pretty she is in real life.

New York, I miss you!

Dear NYC I miss you.

The past two months have not been the same without you in my life. I feel as if I have lost a part of myself I didn't realize I had found. I grew up with you. I learned who I was and what I wanted out of life. It's a new chapter for us now but I promise I will be back. After our little Aria is not quite so little we will return to a place I can honestly call my home. For now I will remember you, and all the good times we've shared and here are a few things that I miss the most!

I miss my friends!!!

I miss the train.... and walking anywhere and everywhere.

I miss the horrible cab drivers, and their bad attitudes.

I miss waking up to the garbage truck coming down the street in the early mornings.

I miss the spring days before it gets too hot and taking a walk through Central Park.

I miss the life of the city, the noise, the way you feel being there

There are a million and one things about NYC that I miss and I can't wait to visit and show our daughter what an amazing city it is.

Someday it will be our home again.

Baby bump update

Hey everyone with the move from NYC to Utah things have been a little crazy. So here are some new pictures and a little update on our little baby to be.

23 Weeks and she finally starts to show.

27 Weeks and I am starting to feel a little like a whale.

Things are going really well. It's been a little bit of a transition moving back to the 801. I will admit it's very nice to have my friends and family so close. The past month without Bradley has been pretty hard but I know that when he gets here life will be perfect.

Our little Aria is getting big. At the doctor last week they told me that she's measuring ahead so we will see what happens in a few months. We are getting really excited for our new arrival and to have our family grow. Life is wonderful and I can't wait to see what exciting things we have in store!

BIG NEWS...

Dear Utah..

I will be moving back by March 20th..

I know you are excited.

That is all. :)

Maternity Clothes...

So it's official I finally had to cave in and buy maternity clothes. I had been avoiding it for about a month but my big pants were finally starting to feel a little tight and I was feeling like I looked a little too chubby for my own good.

The excursion started on Sunday when Miss Fenderson and I headed up to Westchester to go to Motherhood Maternity which I will say has very great service. After a hour of trying on pants I bought 3 pairs and 2 tops which I still feel are too expensive but that's besides the point. I now understand why pregnant women gain so much weight. It's the pants. Once you put those babies on it's like wearing sweats. Amazing is all I have to say. This whole me only gaining 8 pounds in the first 5 months looks like it's about to change.... Now all I need to find are some comfy skirts and I think I will be set!

20 Weeks.

Aria is finally starting to show. A little more each day.. Not sure how I feel about this belly :)

More pictures to come as the weeks go on.

IT'S A ...............

Today was a day full of anticipation. Bradley and I have been waiting the past 5 months to find out what the sex of our baby is. Today was definitely an exciting day for the both of us that will go down in history. I will admit though it didn't run as smoothly as we had hoped. We headed out to our Dr. Apt and were there promptly at 11:00am. Crazy Bff Tamiqua Fenderson in tow! (lol T I love you!) They call our name and the 3 of us squeeze into the tiny room only to be told... oh you were supposed to make an appointment with our sonographer and I would try and see what the sex is however you also need to have a full bladder. Well neither of these things were told to me at my last appointment so now we had to wait... (which as you know I am the most impatient person in the world!)

Soo we don't know the sex yet.

ha ha just kidding ok so what happened next was we went to the front desk they had an opening at 5:00 so we did have to continue to wait but it was only a few more hours instead of weeks. And that's when they told us we would be having a beautiful baby......... GIRL! So I am now able to shop as much as my little heart desires. We are looking forward to what our future holds and here are some pictures of our little Aria Ly (lee) Ciné

Aria doing her acrobatics and kicking me.

She has her daddy's head and lips lol :D

19 Weeks

So it's official I have slightly started to show. I am nearly 5 months along now and Bradley and I find out next Thursday what the sex of our baby is. I am so excited. I will admit I feel like the laziest person alive, but I think that's just part of being pregnant. Yesterday I think Bradley held back his laughter as I was attempting to put on my shoes and roll up the bottoms of my skinny jeans. It took me at least 10 minutes. The baby is sitting right where my body bends so it's in that spot that is so uncomfortable to move.

I think that I have started my "nesting" phase with this whole pregnancy thing and am getting into cooking. I am slowly getting better and Bradley is actually getting to the point where he compliments my cooking.

I will keep you all posted next week after our doctors appointment. I can't wait to see if it's a boy or a girl so I can start spending $$ on baby stuff! :D

16 Weeks

Yesterday Bradley and I went to the doctor for our 16 week checkup. It's so crazy how fast these little babies grow inside of you. I can't believe we are already at 4 months. About half way through it I suppose. I guess I can say I have been pretty lucky this far my biggest complaints have been heartburn (constant heartburn) and the fact that I somehow manage to keep getting sick. Other than that so far so good. My morning sickness wasn't horrible it mostly consisted of me being nauseous pretty much every day for the first few months. It's amazing the way your body changes and how things you have no idea are related to being pregnant actually are.

I was really hoping that we would have been able to find out the sex of the baby yesterday. But of course it being Bradley's child he/she was sleeping lol, and being my child decided to roll over and put it's little back to us once the camera was on. So another 4 weeks before I know what this little panda inside of me is. I will be happy either way as long as the baby is healthy. I do enjoy everyone's guessing though, "you're having a boy because your breaking out a little, boys do that" "It's a girl because you haven't been able to eat, they are more picky" etc etc. I am pretty positive my employees have some sort of bet running on if it's a boy or a girl... So I guess we all just have to wait another 4 weeks before we know for sure.

I will admit I was amazed yesterday to watch our baby on the screen. Last time we were there (3 weeks ago) it didn't look like much of a baby it was mostly all head (again this relating to he/she being Bradley's baby JK BABE!) But yesterday we could see the whole spine, his/her little legs stretch out as he/she slept you could almost even make out little baby toes! It's a really amazing thing to witness. I am going to post a picture of the ultrasound it's not really clear but you can definitely make out the spine.

The Babies head is on the right and toes are on the left. I know it's hard to tell from the picture. I will post more next time after our next visit.

Calling you out

At the beginning of last year I started working out with a personal trainer. It was my goal to get back to a healthy weight and a place that I was happy with myself. I lost 30 pounds in the first 6 months of the year and maintained it in the last 6 months. I still desire to continue to lose weight but being pregnant makes it a little more difficult.

When I found out I was pregnant I discussed it with my personal trainer and luckily he is certified in pre and post natal working out. I was so excited because I felt that I was still going to be able to meet my goals regardless of the fact that I was pregnant. Over time you build relationships with these people in your life. He was my trainer but he was also my friend. We worked out together, grocery shopped, got coffee, went to the beach etc.

About 3 weeks after I found out I was pregnant I went to the gym to meet my trainer. I was not in a good mood but as most of you who are my friend know my moods are often up and down. I warned him before I got there and I guess I said something to offend him because he stopped returning my calls and scheduling work outs. I didn't know what was wrong until a mutual friend told me I offended him. To be honest I am hurt and I feel let down. I tried to confront him and speak to him on the issue and he wouldn't respond to my phone calls or text messages. How do you fix a problem if your not willing to face it? I am frustrated because we did have a friendship but this is also a professional relationship. I paid for my sessions in full and still had several remaining that at this point I have just lost out on. I can't believe that someone who I thought was my friend but also someone that I could rely on to help me reach my goals. I have never pretended to be a pleasant person to be around. And if I am not in a great mood I am sure that the fact that I am pregnant amplifies that.

I guess right now I am at a loss. I am upset about the loss of a friendship but I am more upset about the loss of the support system I had to reach my goals. I have such a fear I am going to gain this weight back in my pregnancy and be an unhealthy mom and not be able to continue to reach my goal. I am currently in search of a new trainer so if anyone knows anyone who is good in the NYC area let me know!

I am upset and I just need to vent about this situation because I still can't believe that it happened and that he wasn't man enough to confront me about the issue. It hurts and it sucks when you thought that there was more to your friendship than that.

1-1-11

Hello 2011. I am happy to welcome this New Year in and see what amazing things it has in store! Just a few quick shots of how I started my 2011.

After our midnight kiss, my love and I on 5th ave.

(yup I traveled all the way to the Apple store to meet him at the end of his 3-midnight shift for that kiss!)

Fireworks over Central Park

5th Ave looking down town. It's a beautiful sight.

Goodbye 2010

I can't say that I am not happy to see this year come to an end. For me this year has had it's share of up's and downs, happiness and sadness, lost and found. I feel like each year I get older I learn more about myself. Each part of our life tests us in a way we couldn't have imagined and throws things at us we may not always be ready for. This year has definitely done a lot of throwing at me. Things I didn't know if I could handle, but I did. Or maybe I couldn't but I overcame my fears.

I feel like my year in review isn't really all I had hoped it would be. I had so many ideas and so many plans. So many things I wanted to accomplish left undone. There was so much more that I did do so here is my 2010 in review.

At the beginning of this year I put into play I wanted to get healthy again. Get back to a shape and size that I was comfortable with. With the help of a personal trainer and a lot of hard work on my part the first six months of this year I lost around 30 pounds. I plan to continue on this venture into the new year and get serious once again.

I have gained and built amazing friendships. Formed bonds that I know will last a life time. I can't even begin to explain the role that my best friend in NYC Tamiqua has played in my life. She has been there for me through everything. My up's and my many downs. She has helped me through my tears and given me tough love when I needed it. And to her I will be forever grateful for the value and friendship she has added to my life.

I have also learned to trust my instincts even more than I did before. Sometimes insecurities play a role on our thoughts, and emotions and we feel that at times they may cause the lines of our instinct to be blurry. But believe me listen to your heart and your gut.. it always knows what's going on.

I have learned to be stronger on my own. To not rely on the love and friendship of others because at the end of the day you are the only person you have to hold yourself up when others let you down. Be strong for yourself no one else can do it for you.

I have learned that love is tested. That no matter how strong it is or how much you love someone something unexpected can always be thrown your way. It's how you choose to move on that shows the strength of your character. It may hurt, but if it didn't it wouldn't really be love now would it? In order to hate you must love. Just remember what's important to you so you don't lose it.

I have always believed that everything happens for a reason and everything happens in the right time. I learned I am going to be a mom. It may not have been planned but I couldn't be happier about what my future holds and this little life I have growing inside of me.

2010 I say goodbye to you with found memories, and not so found ones. I look forward to the excitement and new joys that 2011 will bring my way. I wish you all a Happy New Year and that the last 2 days of your 2010 shall be everything you've hoped they would be!

Irony

Funny how you think everything in your life is finally falling into place. You're finally reaching a place where you feel completely and utterly happy. And then it happens. The thing that ruins it all. Your wold just comes crashing down around you like you've been living in an illusion all along. Pretty horrid feeling.

Always think of who you're hurting when you make decisions. And how they will affect the people in your life... the people you "love"