Mixed Emotions

The holiday season is always the time of year that makes it hard being away from family. I find the months of November, December, and January to be three of the hardest months to endure since I have moved to New York.

I am extremely close with my family. A lot of my New York friends didn't realize this when I moved here because to them they felt moving so far away meant I couldn't have been. Which isn't further from the truth. I think leaving my friends and family was quite possibly the hardest thing about moving. I wish often that I could have brought them all with me and had the best of both worlds but obviously that is not possible.

December is one of my favorite months. There is always so much going on. My Mom's birthday is in December, my Grandmothers is Christmas eve, and of course Christmas. When I was young I used to avoid family events.. (with my mom's family) because it was always chaos. Over the years as I got older my parents moved and we spent holiday's alone. Just my parents, my brother and me. This Christmas coming up seems especially hard on me. I have had a lot of changes in my life the past few months and I feel like I want my family close more now than ever. I am so lucky to have such a wonderful family. They would be here for me if I would let them. I just feel guilty letting one of them fly out just for Christmas Eve and Christmas day when I will be working. Oh the life of retail.

For those of you who are blessed to be with your families this holiday remember how lucky you are. I will be missing mine from afar and counting the days until I get to see them again. Feeling a little homesick and spending the day quite and alone. Again the benefits of retail Bradley will be working on Christmas day. This year for me Christmas will have to just be thought of as another day off and not a holiday. Hopefully next year will be everything I dream it to be.